When it comes to telling others "no", I try to remind myself that as long as I respond in a kind (but firm!) way, someone's negative reaction to that "no" is not my fault, or something I should feel responsible for. As a natural people pleaser it can be super tough to say no and set personal boundries (and have someone respond negatively to it!) but at the end of the day, you're your own advocate, best friend, support system, etc. and no one else will have your back or understand your emotional needs in the way that you do. So I say it's all about being proud of yourself for setting boundaries! acknowledging that as a personal win, and letting go of holding yourself accountable or responsible for someone's reaction.
When someone responds badly when you set a boundary, it speaks to their own character (or personal struggles). Plus, setting boundaries and saying no can actually strengthen and improve relationships! When you constantly say yes, you're setting yourself up (and the relationship you're in-be it with a friend, spouse, family member, etc) for disaster later on. It can lead to mounting resentment, frustration, and anger, since by constantly saying "yes", you're not taking care of your own emotional needs or wellbeing, and that can eventually boil over in unhealthy ways into your relationship when not proactively dealt with. So even though saying "no" and having these convos now can be uncomfortable, in the long run you're avoiding greater problems later on, and showing up for yourself in the ways that matter.
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