Mid life crisis at 50

kj36928
Member

When I turned 50 I had a huge mid-life crisis. My kids were out of the house and I felt like I need change immediately. I wanted my husband and I to move so I can start fresh and new. Does (or did) anyone else feel like they were mentally in a new place once they hit 50? 3 years later and I did move, but I do sometimes have those feelings of wanting change. Any advice on how to fulfill the need for something new without a drastic move?

4 REPLIES 4

CamiHami
Member
I like to completely rearrange my furniture, move my wall art around and do what I like to call “shop my house”. I go from room to room and move all the plants, and decor all around! Not only do I feel super accomplished but I actually feel like I have a new house! Hope that helps 🙂 Sincerely, Cami

Frame_Shiva
Featured Guest
Featured Guest

Thank you for sharing your experience. We have been taught to assign meaning to healthy life experiences, and this can so often lead to people thinking there is something pathological about their behavior.  What we call a "mid-life crisis" is an absolutely healthy part of our development. It sounds like you spent many years as a caregiver to your children so to me the desire for change signals a celebration of autonomy! Let yourself celebrate this monumental moment in your life where you can finally focus on yourself again. Get to know yourself, who is this new version of you? What does she like to do?  As someone who has spent so many years in a home with 3 children and a husband, it makes perfect sense that you're looking to your external home as a place for comfort. However, now YOU get to be your home. The physical space you're living in is only going to provide temporary satisfaction. Also take into consideration that the empty nest brings on a drastic change in your marriage. Now it is just the two of you and that brings up a lot for some people. Make sure this need for change isn't a distraction from facing this new phase in your marriage. Remember, this all makes perfect sense and serves as a reminder of your growth. I would be concerned if you didn't feel mentally in a new place at this point in your life! Enjoy these changes, celebrate your accomplishments, meet the new you, and get to know your relationship again. 

 

 

 

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This is so well-said. I really connected with your words about where home lies, and where to find comfort. I feel this change, too, although my kids are still younger. I’m older, and coming to terms with it—especially the redefining of my sense of self outside of what I’ve always known myself to be. It’s liberating, in one sense, and also challenging to embody this wise woman space.

@SeattleSarah thank you! I think regardless of what point we are in our lives, finding a way to integrate all the different parts of ourselves can be challenging. We are pretty complex creatures... always changing and holding on to memories of who we were at different points in our lives. Our ability to remember can make it so much more challenging to embrace our changes! I find it is more helpful for me to think of every version of myself still existing inside. The thought of "letting go" of who I used to be can feel like a loss, not a gain. To me, we will always be every version of ourselves. The magic of being human is getting to chose what part of you shows up. You are always the wise woman... even when you don't recognize it 🙂