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How did you find your therapist?


I'm on the hunt for a new therapist, and I'm curious, for those of you who have a great therapist, how did you find them?! There are so many sites these days that it's hard to know who to trust or the best resources to find the perfect match. HELP!



Hello there! As a therapist I know that finding a good therapist can be a real job these days! When I was seeing clients about 75% of my new clients were referred by existing or previous clients. The others came from social media or hearing me speak. So if asking a friend for a referral is something you are comfortable with thats always an option. If not, there are therapy directories. I know there are  many; however  I do recommend them because of the ability to apply filters to your search.


Here are some additional tips:

  • I always, always, recommend interviewing at least three therapists before deciding on one. 
  • Interview questions include:
  • How long have you been practicing? What are your treatment areas of specialty? How do you think people change and what role do you believe you play in the change process?  How do you handle client emergencies? How do you measure progress? As a therapist what is your style and approach? Do you listen more than advise? Do you assign homework? Do you welcome feedback? What does the therapy termination process look like? What can I expect from the first three sessions?

Finally, after you decide to work with a therapist it is also important to mention whether or not you have a pressing matter to address, because the first two sessions are all about collecting information in order to develop a course of treatment action, that should be reviewed with and agreed upon by you. 


Hope this helps a little!

Can you provide links to therapy directories? I have tried both Lyra Health and BetterHealth and haven’t found a therapist that is a good fit for me yet

I am a licensed therapist and receive referrals and do work through Sondermind. On my end, I’m very impressed with the quality of client/therapist matches . Check them out! They operate in several states. Check first to ensure your state is served by Sondermind!

thank you for the suggestions very helpful


I used the Psychology Today site to search for local therapists based on a specific condition I wanted to focus on! Then I just looked for a combination of bio and pricing to decide on who to reach out to to schedule 20 min consultations. I did learn that you should reach out to more people than you'd expect, because I probably contacted 7 or 8 people and only heard back from 2.


Once you have a (free) consultation scheduled, put together a list of questions you want to ask them to check if they would be a good fit for you. I ultimately made my final choice based on who conversation flowed with best, and who I felt had the mentality to help me the most 🙂 good luck!

Thank you.

@Nichomi thank you for the suggestions very helpful

Commit to 10 visits with a therapist with a goal to accomplish is a good start but. I recommend 1) a PHD or someone who is working in it currently 2) I look at the university or experience and work experience . If they have significant experience with a hospital or Trauma chances are they can help you with anything from the mundane to complicated as they have seen it all 3) check with your primary care provider . Quit often they have a relationship with a psychologist . Look at their “resume “ on line . Will they do phone visits and / or do you always want in person at first ? How far will you drive to make this successful and stick with it . Then from there you can narrow your search radius just by googling .


Therapist here! My tips for finding a therapist:

1. Use an online directory or get a referral (psychologytoday & therapyden are helpful)

2. Look forL

  • They specialize in what you are looking for or are willing to learn more about your issues to help you
  • They are engaged and “in the moment”
  • Clear boundaries
  • You feel comfortable
  • Price (either they take your insurance, provide a sliding scale, or are in your budget)

3. Therapist red (or yellow) flags

  • They specialize in EVERYTHING. No one can actually specialize in everything
  • They overshare about themselves (self-disclosure can be okay, but if it's the entire session, then it’s not really your time is it?)
  • They judge you
  • They behave unethically (this is a true RED flag)
  • It just doesn’t feel right

4. See if the therapist offers a 15 min phone call

5. Let the therapist know you are trying out a few before you make a decision


I was very lucky to find a great therapist through my EAP.  I read her bio & read about her area of concentration.  She offers 15 min. phone consultations & I think that is extremely helpful.  I guess you never know until you have a full appointment, but I'm so glad we really connect. I've had a bad therapist before for myself (in high school) and for my son.  If they give you weird vibes or funny tummy feelings, listen to your gut! 


My PCP had recommended EMDR Therapy so I searched for someone with that area of expertise. I spoke with three and felt comfortable two of the three. One had a waiting list but I was able to schedule with the other. It will be five years together in January. I’ve taken breaks and have felt comfortable and welcome coming back. Ask questions before you decide- ask about goal setting and progress checks, how they give and receive feedback, their approach and homework or exposures. Listen to their answers and your intuition.