I am looking for advice for my situation. My son and daughter in law have three young children- ages 5, 3 and a 6 month old. My daughter in law is a stay at home mom and the two oldest are in school all day from 9-4. In the past, I have made myself available to babysit the baby when asked, but lately I have decided that it is getting to be too much for me, as it tends to be 3+ hours each time. I tired to calmly communicate this to my daughter in law, but she got very upset with me, saying how "its not too much to ask a grandmother to spend time with her grandkids" and "her family wishes they lived closer so they could be more involved." For the record, I love my grandkids, I just really enjoy spending time with them when I am not the primary caregiver. Am I wrong to set limits in this way? I continue to babysit when there is an emergency; I just don't want to be on call for random babysitting when she feels like getting a massage.
Thank you so much for your response and support!
Thank you! That is good advice since a large part of the problem was her habit of asking a day before she needed me. It made me feel like I was on call, or guilty if I had other commitments.
You are so valid @DianeS634! Agree with everyone else, I love the idea of creating a boundary and sticking with it. Tagging Guide @Nichomi_H who I'm sure has great advice when it comes to boundary setting
I agree 100% with the responses so far -- you should not be on call for her, and I like the idea of setting boundaries by offering certain days (and of course in emergencies...though that doesn't include her needing a massage - ha!)
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