"Confidence is quiet, insecurities are loud." - Can anyone relate? Got any tips?

mmyogabeach
Member

I recently heard this statement on a podcast, and it really hit home for me. Have you heard it before? It's new to me!

 

I've been working through some self-worth challenges at work lately and have felt the need to "prove myself" over and over again - to the point where I'm getting burnt out by it. Even when I'm told "you add value, you are valuable", I still struggle!

 

While I've been busy scrambling to prove my value externally, I'm starting to understand it's really that internal dialogue that's the loudest and likely the biggest culprit of me feeling like I need to do more, do better, be better. The dialogue that no one else hears. That "inner roommate" (shout out to Untethered Soul. I'm on chapter 3!).

 

- Does anyone else struggle with this? I'm suspecting yes if they write books about it!

- What practices help you? Would love to hear some tactics of how you quiet your inner dialogue to get to your core confidence.

 

I'm at the stage of noticing it's happening, but would like to start shutting that loud insecurity up 😉

 

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2 REPLIES 2

Vanessa
Community Manager
Community Manager

@mmyogabeach You are not alone! My "inner roommate" is incredibly loud (and opinionated and negative and annoying and...you get the point lol). My insecurities are something I have to consciously fight every day. Its really hard to be confident sometimes, so I have adopted the "fake it til you make it" mentality. I just try and act confident, whether I am or not, and it makes me feel better! Sometimes you have to ignore that roommate because they really aren't helping.

 

Also wanted to tag @Margeaux_H to see if she has any has any tips to help combat these insecurities ❤️

 

Thanks Vanessa! @mmyogabeach  I totally feel you.  I spent most of my younger life looking for the validation or approval of others. I spent my youth trying to be enough for my parents and my adult life trying to impress my superiors at my job.  I remember going into my year end review and telling my managers that they were "Not giving me enough praise", even though I was the number 3 sales rep in the country out of 140 people I still felt the need to hear out loud how good I was to quiet my "inner roommate".  Years ago I finally came to the point with work where I realized it doesn't matter if they say thank you or job well done I am know that I am performing at a high level and the numbers were all that really mattered.  the numbers were proof that I was not only good enough...but one of the best.  Personally it took me a little longer to let go of the need for validation from others but I have finally gotten there.  I try to look at it like nobody else knows what my struggles are.  What I have had to do to find my own self love or self worth and if I spend my life looking for the validation of others I willingly let them steal my joy.  When I teach my yoga classes I like to ask everyone to "Break out your inner cheerleader".  All the words of praise and kindness that you so freely give to others, take a moment and give them to yourself".  This is a practice I do several times a day to remind myself that I am enough now.  I just put up a blog post about this very subject " Validation of Self"  Check it out and I hope it helps you find more inner peace. 

 

https://community.athletawell.com/t5/Body-Self-Resources/Inner-Validation-Only-How-I-Stay-Aligned/ba...