Trying to find peace with my decisions

Juli
Member

The thing I'm struggling with the last few days is trying to find peace with my decision to close my business and the feeling of shame that goes with that. It was a choice that I made to prioritize my family and their needs and now I feel like I've lost a bit of myself and just reverted back to my stay-at-home mom status and my identity is lost. I struggle when I get asked, "what do you do?" I used to have an answer that I was proud of and now I don't have an answer. I was proud of the business I created and all that I learned in the last few years and now it's all gone. It's hard to be sure some days that it was the right decision. Esp considering in two years I will be an empty nester. I just feel a bit lost about the future. 

6 REPLIES 6

molly
Community Manager
Community Manager

Oh @Juli I feel this so deeply. You still do this — everything you created is still a part of you AND you could do it again if you wanted to. I'm certainly not saying that is what you want to do, but you could. You could. You could. Wondering about what is the "right" decision is such a loaded thing to think about, but having gone through something similar I know that I made the only decision that I could have. I'm sure you made yours keeping your family, your mental health, and your happiness top of mind. I don't know what is next for you (or me!) but I do know that it takes time to heal. I am right here with you, too. 

Vanessa
Community Manager
Community Manager

You're decision was such a strong one @Juli ! Though your business was a big part of your life, it doesn't define who you are. I lost a lot of weight in the past 2 years and I've recently had a big weight gain. Its hard not to feel like a failure or that I don't know who I am supposed to be, but we have to remember that we should be proud just standing here today. I know you are amazing and maybe this is the universe letting you reset! You are exactly who you say you are and no matter what, that is not going to change!

Cue all the tears, Vanessa. Thank you for your kind words, they are like a giant hug. It is so evident from the moment I met you that you are a beautiful soul and like you said, our jobs and our appearance don't define us. It's all our experiences, emotions, connections and spirits that make us who we are. Titles and descriptors are just words. You are beautiful and your radiate kindness, those are the first and only things that came to mind when I met you today. I truly look forward to getting to know you better! 

Vanessa
Community Manager
Community Manager

Awww @Juli I'm sending all the hugs!! I have no doubt in my mind that you are exactly where you need to be right now. Some things happen for a reason (even if we don't have a reason). You have complete control of the path you're on and I cannot WAIT to see what that journey looks like for you.

 

You are too sweet Juli, I am sooo excited to meet up again!! You're so amazing and I am beyond thrilled we all got to meet you. Even though I only got a small glimpse of your story, I cannot wait to hear more! The conversation is not over, its only beginning!

Margie
Community Manager
Community Manager

Thank you for sharing this, Juli! Something that a therapist told me a couple years ago really helped me get through some regret and tough decisions: You can't get your own life wrong. tbh I have chills writing this out and it's something I need to remember more often. As Molly said, you could do it again, and while trusting that you've made the right decision for YOU is hard, it is your life, your path ❤️ 

Juli
Member

I love that! Thank you Margie! I do believe our lives are full of many chapters and I try to remind myself on days like this that it was a chapter in my life and I'm just getting started on a new one. It seems for me that my 40s are the decade of growth in my life and I'm trying to embrace it. I love a new challenge, I just need to get myself off this emotional rollercoaster that I keep strapping myself into! Talking about it tonight helps a lot. Thank you all.